Send a Greeting Card Anonymously

We'll mail it. You were never here.

Some things need to be said in writing, and specifically not by you.

Pick the card. Pick the closing line. Give us the address. We handwrite it, stamp it, and drop it in a plain white envelope with nothing on the outside. No return address. No logo. No receipt tucked inside. Just a card landing in a mailbox on a Tuesday for reasons the recipient is going to have to sit with for a while.

It works on people you love, too. Most of these go to friends.

How it works

Everything happens right on this page. Choose your card and your closing line, tell us who it's going to, and check out. That's it. Nothing else to fill in later, no email chasing you for details.

We mail within two business days. After that it belongs to the postal service, which operates on a timeline best described as a range.

What's in the envelope

A card. Handwritten. That's the entire list.

No packing slip, no branding on the outside, no hint of who paid for it. If you signed it, they'll know. If you didn't, they won't.

Two cards to choose from right now

Just Because. A grid of nine cheerful little faces on the front. Inside, it points out that fucking off doesn't seem to come naturally to them. More helpful than hostile, technically.

Thinking of You. Retro chevrons, warm colors, the most sincere-looking card we make. Inside: and getting pissed off. It's the one that reads like a real card until the exact moment it doesn't.

Custom ways to close it

You pick from our lines rather than writing your own. That's on purpose. We're funnier than anybody is at 2am, and it keeps this a joke instead of something else. Or nothing at all, and let the card do the whole job.

Sign it however (or don't)
Us your name. One of our options or leave it blank and let them work through the list themselves.

The rules

One card, one address, one time. Adults only. And if a card lands somewhere it isn't wanted, that person emails stopmailing@fuckoffflags.com and we never mail that address again, no questions.

If what you want is to scare somebody, we're the wrong shop, and we'd honestly rather you didn't.

Details

• 5x7 folded card, blank inside for us to write your line
• Handwritten in block capitals, plain white envelope, Forever stamp
• Mailed within two business days, US addresses only for now
• You'll get an email from us the day it goes out