{"product_id":"send-a-card-anonymously-we-mail-it-for-you-funny-rude-greeting-card-service","title":"Send a Greeting Card Anonymously","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWe'll mail it. You were never here.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eSome things need to be said in writing, and specifically not by you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003ePick the card. Pick the closing line. Give us the address. We handwrite it, stamp it, and drop it in a plain white envelope with nothing on the outside. No return address. No logo. No receipt tucked inside. Just a card landing in a mailbox on a Tuesday for reasons the recipient is going to have to sit with for a while.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eIt works on people you love, too. Most of these go to friends.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow it works\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eEverything happens right on this page. Choose your card and your closing line, tell us who it's going to, and check out. That's it. Nothing else to fill in later, no email chasing you for details.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eWe mail within two business days. After that it belongs to the postal service, which operates on a timeline best described as a range.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat's in the envelope\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eA card. Handwritten. That's the entire list.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eNo packing slip, no branding on the outside, no hint of who paid for it. If you signed it, they'll know. If you didn't, they won't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTwo cards to choose from right now\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eJust Because.\u003c\/em\u003e A grid of nine cheerful little faces on the front. Inside, it points out that fucking off doesn't seem to come naturally to them. More helpful than hostile, technically.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cem\u003eThinking of You.\u003c\/em\u003e Retro chevrons, warm colors, the most sincere-looking card we make. Inside: and getting pissed off. It's the one that reads like a real card until the exact moment it doesn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCustom ways to close it\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eYou pick from our lines rather than writing your own. That's on purpose. We're funnier than anybody is at 2am, and it keeps this a joke instead of something else. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eOr nothing at all, and let the card do the whole job.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSign it however (or don't)\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003eUs your name. One of our options or leave it blank and let them work through the list themselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe rules\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eOne card, one address, one time. Adults only. And if a card lands somewhere it isn't wanted, that person emails \u003ca href=\"mailto:stopmailing@fuckoffflags.com\"\u003estopmailing@fuckoffflags.com\u003c\/a\u003e and we never mail that address again, no questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eIf what you want is to scare somebody, we're the wrong shop, and we'd honestly rather you didn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e5x7 folded card, blank inside for us to write your line\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHandwritten in block capitals, plain white envelope, Forever stamp\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMailed within two business days, US addresses only for now\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou'll get an email from us the day it goes out\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Fuck Off Flags","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44769399963699,"sku":null,"price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0613\/2881\/8227\/files\/CardsandEnvelope.png?v=1787684943","url":"https:\/\/fuckoffflags.com\/products\/send-a-card-anonymously-we-mail-it-for-you-funny-rude-greeting-card-service","provider":"Fuck Off Flags","version":"1.0","type":"link"}